Two and a Half Men
by HowDracoGotHisGrooveBack
Summary: Harry, Draco and a teeny tiny Malfoy. This was originally a set of oneshots, that got made into an arc by popular demand. Have fun, kids!
1. The French Fry Thief

**One shot written for prompts on LJ: ****_Beat the heat_**** and ****_summer at the beach. _Plus, I really miss writing next gen and this was a good excuse...**

**Enjoy, lovelies!**

* * *

Harry smiled as he watched the waves swipe gently at the sandy shore. Rocky cliffs crowned the little beach alcove and left him with a feeling of peaceful seclusion. Granted it was a little lonely out here on his own, but Harry figured that this solo vacation thing was good for him. He had been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. His public persona hardly left any potential for privacy and there was little he could do to discourage the constant attention. It seemed that he was being accosted for interviews and autographs wherever he went.

So here he was hiding out in a little beach shack on an ocean shore, miles from home. But at least he could sit back with a good book. Relax. Beat the heat. Maybe eat a nice meal without worrying about sudden camera flashes going off in his face and…

His inner monologue came to an abrupt halt at a sudden scuffling under his table. Harry stiffened and put his book down, just in time to see a small hand emerge from…somewhere and bat around his table. He gaped as tiny fingers scrabbled about, making a frantic search of the immediate surroundings before finally planting themselves in his plate. There was a victorious gurgle from under his table and before Harry could even consider reacting, a tiny fist closed around an unsuspecting French fry and made off with it.

"What the…"

He was given no time to protest. The hand returned for an encore- far more certain of its target this time- and locked in on another chip. Harry watched in helpless fascination as it disappeared smoothly, yet again. Whatever it was, it was hungry.

He backed away and lifted the tablecloth slowly, immediately finding himself staring into huge, grey eyes. The little boy blinked back at him- long, blond lashes fluttering over aforementioned huge, grey eyes- somewhat surprised at being caught in the act. Shaggy blond hair fell over a wide forehead in a messy fringe, almost hiding the pale, blond brows from Harry's immediate view. Even as he stared, those brows furrowed in a defiant frown and a small mouth turned down in an unmistakable, accusing pout.

Harry grinned. Apparently, _he_ was the one being rude here…

"Hello," he tried, attempting to make nice. "Are you the free toy that comes with my meal?"

"No."

There was a tinge of indignation in that tone- a slight inflection suggesting that Harry was an idiot for even considering such a thing. Such an affronted expression on such a small face…it was just too damn cute. Harry couldn't resist prolonging the conversation.

"Oh, I see," he replied sincerely. "My mistake. Are you enjoying that fry?"

"No." That being said, the tiny fist he had recently become acquainted with closed firmly around the fry in an obvious refusal to relinquish it.

"That's too bad," Harry said, trying not to look too amused. "Would you like another one?"

"No," the toddler replied firmly. Even so he extended his hand, regarding Harry expectantly. Harry couldn't help himself. He chuckled.

"I have a feeling that's the only word you know," he said, selecting a few chips and surrendering them to the small tyke. He couldn't be more than two years old…

"No."

This latest bout of negation was followed by a bit of urgent shuffling. Harry backed away obligingly and the toddler squirmed out from under the table and planted his tiny little hands on a chair, attempting to climb up on it. Harry watched the unsuccessful attempts with mild interest. Finally, his little guest huffed in frustration and glowered at him, prompting Harry to offer assistance.

"Need some help?"

"No."

As he had recently learnt, this meant _yes _so Harry wasted no time in lifting Blondie up and depositing him on to the chair.

"There we go. Better now?"

The _no _he had been expecting was abandoned in favour of a handful of fries. Harry grinned at the blatant thievery, rather enjoying his grouchy little guest's company. It struck him that he should probably be alerting someone to look for the child's parents, but it was so much more fun talking to him. He had such varying views on so many different subjects. Soon, he found himself involved in a very scintillating, if somewhat one-sided conversation.

"What are your views on broccoli?"

"No."

"Daytime television?"

"No."

"Nuclear warfare?"

"No."

"My feelings exactly. How about…"

"Scorpius, there you are!"

Harry blinked as an anxious blur shot past him, crouching beside his lunch companion. He found himself looking down at a head of white blond hair- not unlike Blondie's at all. He couldn't quite see the man's face, considering that he was too busy with his son to spare a glance. But he could make an educated guess. In fact, Harry was very sure he knew just where his pint sized friend had acquired that combination of blond hair and attitude.

"…absolutely not okay to run off on your own like that!" Malfoy sounded so _parental, _it was almost funny_. _Harry grinned as he shook his head wearily and started off again. "Do you have any idea how worried Father was?"

"No."

Malfoy groaned. "Merlin help me, not this again…"

Harry couldn't resist breaking into the conversation. "Not very accommodating, is he? I wonder where he gets it from."

Malfoy's head snapped towards him, grey eyes blinking in surprise. Almost immediately, his brows arched in a defensive glare. It was just so similar to Blondie's- _Scorpius'_- reaction to him that Harry couldn't help laughing. "Nice to see you too, Malfoy."

"What are you doing here, Potter?" Malfoy demanded warily. "And…how exactly did you acquire my son?"

"Actually, he acquired me. My fries, more specifically."

Malfoy blinked a few more times before turning back to his son. "Surely I've taught you better than to go around stealing greasy food from strangers."

"No."

"You just walked into that one," Harry chuckled.

Malfoy responded a half smile as he ran a hand through his hair. "Of all the words he could have picked up," he said, shaking his head. A slight breeze ruffled his hair and Harry took a moment to let his gaze travel down Malfoy's lean, tapered body. At the very least, Scorpius would grow up to be a _very_ attractive young man…

"How exactly did you wind up making something so cute?" he found himself asking.

Malfoy arched a brow and smirked. "I hardly think that's appropriate conversation with a minor in the vicinity. And Merlin forbid he pick up words of _that_ sort to repeat every ten minutes. His mother would kill me."

Harry nodded stiffly, wondering how he had missed the very obvious detail of Malfoy being married. Little blond boys don't just sprout out of the ground. "Where is your wife?" he asked, striving for a blank, neutral expression. Obviously he failed, because Malfoy's eyes glinted mischievously.

"My _ex_ wife is off vacationing in Paris with her new husband," he stated with a smirk. "Astoria doesn't think much of the beach so it's just me and the french-fry thief here."

"Oh," Harry supplied. He probably could have come up with a better response in due time but the notion of a single and rather fit Malfoy was very distracting. And the fact that single and fit Malfoy seemed to be _flirting_ with him certainly wasn't helping matters much…

"She's missing out," he replied. He hoped Malfoy understood he wasn't talking about the beach...

Apparently, he did. A slow, sultry grin pulled at his lips and Harry shivered as those grey eyes looked him over. "I'm glad you think so," he drawled.

Harry swallowed, and he was on the verge of asking Malfoy out when Scorpius decided to make his presence felt. A fork fell to the ground with a sharp clatter and Malfoy turned back to his son. "We'll just get out your way then, Potter," he said smoothly. "I apologize if Scorpius disturbed your quiet time."

"I didn't mind," Harry smiled. As a matter of fact, he would have been happy to spend more time with Malfoy Junior. Not to mention his gorgeous father…

"Time to go, Scorpius," Malfoy said, helping him off the chair. "Say goodbye to Potter."

"No."

Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "That's not very nice. You stole his lunch. The least you can do is say thank you."

"No."

"Oh for the love of…we have to go now, son."

He trailed off as Scorpius scurried over and attached himself firmly to Harry. His small body pressed firmly against Harry's leg, small arms just barely wrapping around his thigh. "No," he whined again, staring up at Harry with imploring, grey eyes. Harry crumbled like a house of cards. How could he deny the little angel anything when he looked like that? Those eyes were _dangerous_. Harry could only hope that Scorpius wouldn't want the moon or the Eiffel Tower anytime soon…

"I can tag along if he wants," he suggested haltingly. He raised hopeful eyes at Malfoy. "Maybe just a short walk on the beach?"

Malfoy grinned. "Ten minutes and you're wrapped around his finger. That's just impressive," he teased. "Very well, Potter. But you're carrying him. He obviously likes you."

"I can do that," Harry grinned. "I like him too. What do you say, Scorpius? Up for a little walk on the beach?"

"No."

"That's what I thought," Harry replied, lifting up the little blond. Small fingers curled into his shirt and bright eyes blinked at him. Harry thought he caught a small smile too, but Scorpius turned away- inexplicably shy all of a sudden- and buried his face in Harry's shoulder.

"Ready when you are Potter," Malfoy said, turning away and sauntering off. Harry raised an eyebrow as he admired the delicious curve of Malfoy's arse. With another grin, he followed the blond, taking care not to jostle the smaller blond in his arms.

Vaguely it struck him that he had come all this way to a beach in the middle of nowhere for some privacy, just to get accosted all over again. But- Harry realized as he walked down the beach with Draco by his side and Scorpius in his arms- it wasn't so bad.

No. Not so bad at all...


	2. Malfoy Management

**Sequel to the French Fry Thief (see previous chapter). I wasn't expecting this to span an arc so I apologise if it's not up to the mark. I tried!**

* * *

Harry opened the door and stepped inside, immediately stopping in his tracks as he registered the wreckage that had once been Draco's organised little apartment. Broken dishes, toys strewn all over the floor… Harry blinked, just taking it all in.

It had taken him about a week after returning from his beach vacation to realise that he missed being surrounded by grey eyed blonds in varied shapes and sizes. It had taken him another week to muster up the courage to ask Draco out. The blond had accepted and the rest, as they say is history.  
Ever since then, Harry had been making a habit of stopping by after work and on the weekends to spend time with his two favourite blonds at said apartment. To the best of his knowledge, it had never been susceptible to gang violence before. Seriously, what the hell had happened here?

His questions were summarily answered as a wail of pure rage emanated from the bedroom down the hall. Harry halted as he recognized the unmistakable sound of a two year old throwing one hell of a hissy fit. It started as a soft keening before heightening to a crescendo- a sound loud and shrill enough to wake the dead. Harry winced as the shrieks descended to a new decibel level. Whatever had happened, Scorpius certainly did not approve. If he listened hard enough, he could just make out Draco's strained tone over the ruckus.

"That's enough, young man. This behaviour is absolutely unacceptable."

"No!"

"And 'no' is not the answer to all of life's great questions."

"No! No! **No!"**

"Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy! I swear to Merlin if you say that word _one_ more time…where are you going? Come back here this instant!"

Pattering footsteps echoed as Scorpius made his escape into the hall. He skidded to a halt when he caught sight of Harry standing by the door. Harry barely caught a glimpse of huge, teary grey eyes and messy hair before Scorpius _wailed _and charged for him. By the time he came to grips with the situation there was a small blond starfish wrapped around him, bawling into his leg.

"Hey, you," Harry murmured softly.

Scorpius responded by burying his face in Harry's thigh and howling like the damned. Harry reacted by instinct, running a hand through soft, blond locks and making soothing, shushing noises. Scorpius dug his tiny hands into his trousers, anchoring himself to Harry as he sobbed.

Draco had made an appearance by this time as well, stopping short as he saw Harry too. His normally impeccable hair was tousled and Harry suspected he had run his hands through it on more than one occasion this morning. His shirt was ruffled and splattered with food stains and he looked about as happy as his son.

"Dare I ask?" Harry attempted.

His boyfriend sighed and shrugged helplessly. "We are having an off day," he announced.

"Really?" Harry retorted. "I hadn't noticed."

Scorpius went up another octave and Harry sighed, bending down to pick up the little one. Lately, he had become quite adept at carting Scorpius around as he went about his day so it was really no hardship. The small blond curled up and turned huge, wet eyes on him. A single tear tracked its way down his pale cheek and Harry's heart clenched. He shifted him in his arms, cuddling the upset little Malfoy to his chest.

"What's the matter, Blondie?" he crooned, brushing his fringe back and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. "What's with the waterworks?"

Scorpius sniffed and hid in the crook of his neck, taking a moment to point a dramatic, accusing finger at his father. Draco threw his arms up in defeat and flopped on the couch. Harry suppressed a chuckle and focused his efforts on handling one Malfoy at a time. Currently, the little one whimpering in his arms was top priority.

"Poor baby," he cooed, rubbing soothing circles into Scorpius' trembling back. "Was Father being mean to you?"

Scorpius nodded fretfully and Draco huffed. "I call favouritism," he grumbled from the couch.

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. "When _you're_ the one bawling in my arms like the world's about to end, I promise I'll take your side."

Scorpius sniffed and clenched at his shirt, demanding attention. Harry pressed another kiss to his head, making sure he was calm again before approaching the couch and settling next to Draco. He had to physically hold back a grin as father and son shot each other twin scowls of reproach.

"Go on then," he said, addressing Draco as he stroked Scorpius' hair. "What excuse could you possibly have for traumatising my sweet little boy?"

Draco scoffed. "Your _sweet little boy _nearly brought the house down because I asked him to eat his vegetables." He raised an eyebrow as Harry chuckled. "That's right. All this ruckus over a bowl of strained carrots and peas."

Harry made a face. "Strained carrots and peas? Ugh. No wonder he's crying."

"He's crying because he knows you'll cuddle him and pamper him and you won't make him eat his vegetables," Draco accused with a smirk. "Face it, Harry. He's playing you like a harp."

"He is not!" Harry argued, somewhat miffed by the insinuation that his sweet blond angel was capable of such deception.

"Look at him!" Draco protested. Despite his agitation, his lips quirked in an amused grin as Scorpius nuzzled into Harry's chest, sniffing pitifully and bunching his hands in his shirt. Harry responded with a concerned coo, lavishing him with kisses and stroking his hair back. Scorpius looked up at him with shy eyes, raising a small hand to bat at Harry's cheek. Draco suppressed an eye-roll. He could _hear_ his boyfriend melting. It was official. His son was an evil genius.

When the man finally resurfaced from his latest bout of Scorpius snuggling, Draco fixed him with a flat look.

"Like. A. Harp."

Harry huffed. "It's your own fault for having such a cute kid. Anyway, at least _I_ can get him to eat his lunch without wearing most of it." He smirked and gestured at the splatters of food decorating Draco's shirt, eliciting a scowl from his boyfriend.

"Is that so?" Draco challenged, lifting his chin haughtily. "Well go on, miracle worker. Show me how it's done."

"Fine," Harry huffed. "I will." He turned back to his blond bundle, coaxing Scorpius out of his shoulder. "Feeling better, Blondie?" he asked softly.

"No," Scorpius mumbled sulkily.

"That's too bad," Harry clucked. "How about we get some lunch, hm? You don't have to have any if you don't want to."

Scorpius gave it some thought before responding with a small '_kay. _He allowed Harry to carry him over to the table without any protest, although he did make a face at the bowl of carrot mush still sitting there. Harry sat down with the child in his lap, making a series of insincere, appreciative noises at the unsavoury dish.

"Doesn't that look good?" he exclaimed.

Scorpius fixed him with a flat unimpressed look, not unlike Draco's. "No."

Harry was inclined to agree but Draco was leaning at the door frame, watching the proceedings with amusement and he wasn't about to back down now.  
Squaring his shoulders, he summoned a plate from the kitchen and slopped some of the mush out. "I can't wait to try some," he declared, bringing the spoon to his lips and ignoring the protests of his roiling stomach.

Scorpius watched Harry eating the icky stuff with renewed interest. His brow drew down in a thoughtful frown. Well, if Harry was eating it, it couldn't be _that _bad…

Meanwhile, Harry was trying very hard not to grimace as he swallowed around a tasteless glob of vegetable. It was especially difficult, since Draco wasn't even bothering to hide his snickering anymore. Harry fixed him with a disapproving glare and the blond took a deep breath, composing himself.

"See Scorpius?" he said. "Harry's eating his veggies like a big boy. Don't you want to be a big boy for Harry?"

"Do you want to try some?" Harry coaxed. "I'm only sharing it with you 'cause we're best mates, you know."

The grown-ups watched with bated breath as Scorpius considered that. Seconds seemed like hours and it seemed that ages had passed when a small set of shoulders shrugged and a _'kay _of approval was finally issued.

Victory!

Harry heaved a sigh of relief and spooned some of the mush in an unresisting Scorpius' mouth. The child ate without any more tantrums and Harry grinned triumphantly, feeling like he had won a war all over again. "Well?" he demanded, giving his visibly impressed boyfriend a smug look.

"Quit your job," Draco drawled, leaning over for a quick kiss. "You're never leaving this house again."

"Why Draco," he teased. "Are you asking me to move in?"

The blond flushed, a light pink tinting his cheeks as he regarded Harry. "Maybe," he whispered softly, a hint of uncertainty in his tone. "Only if you want to, of course. I understand if…"

Harry smiled and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, enjoying a taste of Draco after that god-awful mush. "I'd like that," he whispered when he finally broke away.

Draco's eyes widened and an incredulous smile pulled at his lips. The sight warmed Harry's heart like nothing else. He had always wanted a family so badly and to have one with Draco and Scorpius…how had he gotten so lucky? He kissed his beautiful boyfriend again, only letting him go with a pang of regret.

"We'll discuss it after you finish feeding the little monster," Draco smiled. "In the meantime, if nobody minds I'm going in for a shower. Maybe get the stench of carrot out of my hair."

Harry's body thrummed with approval at this new information. "Need some help?" he asked.

"Maybe," Draco replied with a sly grin. "Join me if you can put His Highness down for a nap." He departed with a wink and Harry watched his retreating back with a fond smile. "Did you hear that, Scorpius?" he said, nuzzling at the little blond in his lap. "I'm going to come live with you."

"Kay," Scorpius replied.

Harry chuckled and kissed his forehead. "It's going to be perfect," he murmured. Scorpius ignored him in favour of the last spoonful of mush and Harry grinned, cleaning him up and sending the plate back to the kitchen. He could definitely get used to this. The faint sound of water sunning in the shower drifted down the hall and his grin widened. Speaking of things he could get used to, he still had time to claim his reward. This day was starting to look pretty damn perfect.

"Now then," Harry grinned, lifting the little blond up. "How about we get you ready for that nap?"

Scorpius blinked seriously at him, before finally voicing a firm, unyielding response.

"No."


	3. The Good of The Family

**Following the last two chapters (French Fry Thief and Malfoy Management). The adventures of Scorpius, Harry and Draco continue**

* * *

"Oh, do stop scowling, Lucius. It's most unseemly."

Lucius ignored his beloved wife in favour of glaring at Potter's retreating back. Of all Draco's life decisions that he didn't approve of- and there were many- this certainly made the Top Five. He hadn't been happy when Draco had divorced the Greengrass girl. He had been displeased when his son had moved out of the Manor to a semi muggle locality- apparently wanting Scorpius to experience the best of both worlds and expand his horizons… or some rot like that. Recently, he had been extremely unhappy about Draco's decision to take his only grandson away for an _entire_ week to go gallivanting at the beach.

But Lucius could have handled all of that and more if Draco hadn't returned with Harry bloody Potter firmly in tow.

Now he was being subjected to Potter's presence during dinner at Draco's flat. Potter who was smiling at his son and cooing at his grandson and walking about as if he owned the place- setting tables and pouring wine. And then he had the nerve to suggest that Lucius and Narcissa 'relax' while he took care of the dishes with Draco. That was one step too far and the Malfoy patriarch was seriously considering doing something about it.

"Honestly, Lucius," Narcissa admonished. "Why are you being so difficult? We had a wonderful dinner. Harry is a charming, polite young man. He loves your son and impossible as it may seem, he might actually adore Scorpius more than you do."

"Entirely untrue," Lucius protested vehemently. Nobody adored Scorpius more than him and the suggestion that such a thing was even possible was absolutely unacceptable. Just another of several reasons why Potter needed to go. He scowled as Potter whistled cheerfully and handed Draco another plate, nudging him lightly. Draco responded with a shy smile and Lucius' eyes narrowed dangerously.

Meanwhile, Narcissa was busy subjecting him to a stern look. "Honestly, between the two of you it will be a miracle if that child isn't spoiled rotten."

The child in question made an appearance as if summoned. Scorpius abandoned his vigilance at the window and pattered in to check up on his grandparents.

"There's my darling boy," Narcissa smiled warmly, reaching for Scorpius and pulling him into her arms. "Come here, sweetling."

"Oh, and _I'm_ spoiling him," Lucius scoffed. Narcissa ignored him in favour of cooing over her grandson, fussing and petting and making odd clucking noises that he hadn't heard since Draco had been this age. Scorpius tolerated her affectionate attentions like a soldier, only expressing his disapproval with a tired huff. Lucius observed the scene in silence, regarding his grandson with approval.

Now this one was a _real_ Malfoy.

Draco had been a precocious child back in the day and fairly smart for his age, but he lacked that certain…something Lucius had always hoped for in an heir. His son had never quite imbibed the discipline Lucius had tried to instil in him as a child. As an adult he had veered even further away from his sire's expectations, choosing his independence over the good of the family. As much as he hated to admit it, Draco had a trace of Gryffindor in him and Lucius had not been able to eradicate it.

Scorpius was different. The child had immense potential. A serious, young man- always considering his situation before making subtle moves to further his interests. Even at this tender age, Scorpius displayed a natural ability for delicate persuasion, all the while projecting an air of guileless innocence. It was positively Machiavellian. Even his grandmother was fooled. But not Lucius. Lucius knew promise when he saw it, and Scorpius would make the perfect ally in his plans to get rid of Potter. All he had to do was get the boy on his side and the rest would fall into place…  
At the moment, his future conspirator was fidgeting urgently in Narcissa's grasp; valiantly trying to escape her vice-like feminine embrace.

"Nana, _no!_" Scorpius huffed, trying to squirm away.

Lucius' approval went up a notch. Malfoys do _not_ snuggle. "That's enough Cissa," he said, hastening to rescue the boy from her attentions. "I'd like a word with my grandson now if you don't mind."

It took a bit of manhandling but Narcissa eventually surrendered her grandchild. Scorpius huffed in apparent relief and regarded Lucius expectantly, giving him a rare moment of complete attention. Lucius smirked and lifted the child in his lap, making sure to maintain eye contact at all times.

"Now Scorpius," he began smoothly. "It is time that you learnt the true meaning of being a Malfoy."

Narcissa raised an elegant eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

Lucius ignored her, glancing discreetly at the kitchen. Potter and Draco were still busy with the dishes. Perfect. He would have ample time for his little…chat with Scorpius.

"The Malfoy name is an old one, Scorpius," he continued. "A great name with a greater legacy. We pride ourselves on this legacy, on our roots and where we come from. And where is it that we have come from, Scorpius?"

Scorpius shrugged. "Dunno, Gampy."

"I'll tell you, child. We come from the very origin of magic itself. We were and are among the first of the wizards. The pioneers, if you will of all magical kind."

"Kay."

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Lucius. He's two years old. You can't seriously expect him to understand that bilge."

"Hush, Cissa. My grandson understands me perfectly. He's a Malfoy. Now as I was saying Scorpius, as one of the oldest and purest bloodlines of ancient wizardry, we have certain…responsibilities towards our forbearers. The responsibility to uphold the Malfoy name, carry on the family legacy and above all, remain pure."

"Lucius, if you're doing what I think you're doing…"

"And that," Lucius firmly talked over her. "…is where you come in, grandson."

"Kay."

"You see, your father has regrettably forgotten his duties to the family name in favour of this _dalliance_ with Potter."

"Lucius!"

Narcissa's severe tone notwithstanding, Scorpius snapped to attention as well, blinking rapidly at his grandsire.

"Arry?" he questioned brightly.

"Exactly," Lucius smirked triumphantly. "As you may have noticed Scorpius, Harry is not like us. He does not come from our roots and he does not understand the true worth of magical heritage. It is not necessarily his fault. However, the fact remains that Harry Potter is not…shall we say, suitable as the spouse of a Malfoy."

"Lucius, that is entirely…"

"Oh do hush, Cissa. I am merely telling the boy things he should know. Hardly any wrong in that, is there? So Scorpius, for the good of your father and more importantly the family name…"

"Lucius, I swear to Merlin…"

"…it is essential that you understand that all hope now lies with you- the very last of my line. You must convince your father to come to his senses and sever all…ties with Potter. I understand that this might prove difficult at first. But you must persevere. For it is for the good of the family, grandson. The good of the Malfoy name."

Scorpius considered that fine speech carefully. Lucius could practically hear the little wheels turning in his head. "Arry go bye bye?" he asked finally, looking up at Lucius.

Lucius nearly chortled with triumph. "Indeed, grandson. Harry go bye bye indeed."

Narcissa glared at her husband, eyes flashing. "Lucius Malfoy," she hissed. "Are you really trying to use your only grandson to drive a wedge between Draco and his boyfriend? Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I married you at all!"

She turned to Scorpius, eyes softening immediately. "Don't listen to Grandfather, darling. He's just a bitter old man grasping at straws. You just…"

"Now now, Cissa," Lucius smirked. "Don't influence the child. Let him make his own decisions." He turned to Scorpius and smiled, patting his back gently. "So grandson, I think we understand each other now. Do I have your support in this little mission?"

Scorpius stared up at him, eyes drawn in a thoughtful frown. Considering his first move in the Great Plan, no doubt. Lucius was so very proud of…

"No."

Lucius froze. _Surely _he had heard wrong. "What did you say? Scorpius, have I not made myself clear? You simply must…"

Scorpius lifted his little chin and glared. "No, Gampy!" he repeated firmly, slipping off Lucius' lap at once.

The Malfoy patriarch bristled indignantly. Draco would have never _dared_ dismiss him like this. "Do not refute me, young man."

Scorpius responded with all the dignity and forbearance a two year old can be expected to muster. He scowled, blew a raspberry at his grandfather and took off like a snitch with a seeker on its tail.

Lucius could only gape as the boy bolted to the kitchen, pattering over to Potter at once and tugging urgently at his robes. Potter smiled warmly and lifted him up at once, pressing an affectionate kiss to his temple and murmuring fondly. Scorpius threw his arms around Potter's neck in a possessive embrace and settled on his shoulder, taking a moment to cast Lucius a dirty look over his back.

Lucius scowled and slumped back on the sofa with a huff, trying to ignore his wife's muffled laughter. "Well, that could have gone better," he sighed. Clearly, he was defeated. All hope was lost.

Narcissa was still laughing as she reached over and patted his hand. "No one can say you didn't try, darling. Oh Merlin, did you try."

She turned away from her sulking husband. A gentle still smile traced her lips as she regarded Harry Potter; holding her grandson as if he were the most precious thing in the world. His free hand was linked with Draco's and his eyes spoke of nothing but the deepest of affection for both of them. Narcissa raised her wine glass in a silent toast.

"For the good of the family," she echoed softly.

And it was.


	4. My Kid

**Part four of a continuing arc. Follows The French Fry Thief, Malfoy Management and For the Good of the Family (see 3 previous chapter) Part 4 for your reading pleasure :D**

* * *

Harry grinned fondly at the little blond head in his lap. "Seriously, what is it with you always eating my food?"

Scorpius looked up and obliged him with a blink before ignoring him completely and diving in to his fries again. His own plate had been abandoned the second Harry's meal had shown up and apparently, this was a thing now. Across the table, Hermione and Ron watched the scene with mild amusement.

"I suppose we can just bypass all the _so are you and Malfoy serious_ questions," Hermione smiled. Harry grinned in reply, forking up a chip that had somehow escaped Scorpius' vigilant eye.

"We are," he affirmed anyway. It was about time his friends learnt the full extent of his relationship with Draco and Harry had no qualms with letting them know just how committed he was to his boyfriend. Today had seemed the perfect day for this conversation. Draco had been called down to St. Mungos' research facility to consult on some new and improved Spattergroit Cure. He usually worked from home but Mungos had insisted on his presence today and Harry had been more than happy to take a day off to babysit.

So here he was, in a small café in Diagon Alley introducing Scorpius to his best friends over lunch. It had gone exceptionally well. Hermione's maternal instincts had taken over in about two seconds and she had spent the remainder of lunch cooing over the perplexed toddler. Ron had been a tad more resistant, but eventually even he had progressed from 'but he's so…blond' to 'oh alright, so he's a cute little tyke.'

Not bad for twenty minutes, Harry thought smugly. But then again, no one could resist his little angel for too long. Having efficiently demolished Harry's food, Scorpius was now leaning forward in his lap- his chubby fingers grappling eagerly for Ron's plate. The ginger sighed and pushed it over obligingly. "Where is he putting it all?" he wondered aloud. Harry chuckled. Ron willingly sharing his food was as good as a guaranteed stamp of approval. Yes, this was working out just fine. He leaned back in his chair and relaxed- chatting with his friends, one arm securely wrapped around his little blond.

It was just pure chance that he heard the muttering.

"…recognize a Malfoy from a mile away."

Harry stiffened, turning around as discreetly as he could. He recognized the indolent figure of Zacharias Smith sprawled at the table behind him. Smith ran a hand through his sandy brown hair and smirked, carrying out his conversation with a harried waitress.

Harry turned back to his own table, straining to listen over Hermione's conversation.

"So naturally, I told the Minister…"

"Hermione," Harry whispered, shushing her urgently.

"What…"

"Hush a minute. Just listen."

She subsided at once and Harry listened carefully as Smith's tone carried over clearly now.

"Look, all I'm saying is that when I visit your establishment, I expect certain standards. If I wanted to eat in the company of Death Eaters and their _spawn_, I'd go to Knockturn Alley, wouldn't I?"

Harry's fists clenched and his protective hold on Scorpius tightened.

"Sir, you are talking about a child," the waitress replied, her tone tight and completely devoid of patience. She cast a worried glance over at their table, catching Harry's eye for a second.

Smith shrugged, smarmy smirk still firmly in place. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, my dear. If you expect me to believe that _anything_ directly descending from Lucius and Draco Malfoy isn't rotten to the core, I'd urge you to read up a bit more on recent events. You know, that _war_ we just had?"

Harry was grinding his teeth so loudly, it was a miracle he could still hear the conversation. "Sir, I don't know what you're asking me to do here," the girl gritted. "If you're suggesting that I go up there and evict a _baby_ from our premises…"

"I'm not asking for that at all," Smith drawled. "I'm simply saying that I've been forced to spend my afternoon in…unsavoury company. A future criminal, most likely. It's only fair that you don't charge me for my meal. That's reasonable, don't you think?"

The girl stomped off, muttering something about calling her manager and Harry turned back to his friends. His fists were clenched and he was sure his nails were drawing blood. Hermione and Ron sat stock still, clearly shocked into silence. In his lap, Scorpius blithely continued pawing through his fries, oblivious to recent happenings. Harry's hands wrapped around him protectively, wanting nothing more than to keep him safe from this god awful world…

"What a _monster_," Hermione hissed. "How dare he say such…" She trailed off and reached over, stroking the child's cheek. Her hands were trembling and her brown eyes sparked with righteous fury.

"There's one in every crowd," Ron spat, looking thoroughly disgusted. Harry wasn't listening. He was too busy going over ways to make Smith _pay_ for daring to…

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked carefully.

"Fine," Harry gritted. He wasn't fine. He wasn't fine at all.

Hermione nodded uneasily. "Let's just go. I don't want to spend another second here."

Harry took a deep breath, coming to a decision. "Actually," he replied in a deceptively calm tone. "Why don't you go ahead and take Scorpius to Fortescue's for some ice cream? I'll catch up in a minute."

Hermione's eyes widened in alarm. "Harry, _don't_…"

"Let him go, Mione." Surprisingly, this was from Ron. He was regarding the back of Smith's head with a look of pure loathing. "If someone talked like that about my kid, I'd go after him too."

Something surged inside Harry. He had thought of Scorpius as his kid for a long time now, but to hear it from Ron…it just made the whole thing real. Scorpius _was_ his and no one was going to talk about him that way. Not while Harry was around.

Schooling his expression, he cupped the child's cheek, gently tilting his face up. "Hey baby," he murmured softly. "What say we go get some ice cream?"

Innocent, grey eyes blinked back at him, nearly breaking his heart. He would do _anything_ to protect this child. "Kay," Scorpius agreed obligingly.

Harry smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Go on then. Ron and Mione will take you. Harry will catch up, okay?"

"Come on, sweetie," Hermione broke in, sensing a cue. She reached over to help Scorpius off Harry's lap. "Let's go get you some ice cream."

"Kay, lady."

Tiny fingers wrapped around Hermione's hand and she squeezed gently, her eyes meeting Harry's for a brief second. "Be careful," she warned.

"Come on, Mini Malfoy," Ron cut in cheerfully. "You're gonna love the Three Scoop Special."

"No."

Ron frowned, somewhat perplexed at the notion of a child refusing ice cream. "No?"

"Four," Scorpius clarified firmly, holding up four small fingers for emphasis.

Ron chuckled. "I could get used to this kid," he announced, ushering Hermione and Scorpius out of the café. He turned around and winked at Harry. "Give him hell," he said. And then they were gone.

Harry waited a good ten minutes before signalling the waitress. She was a young girl, possibly fresh out of Hogwarts. She glanced at him warily and Harry gave her a reassuring smile. "This should cover the bill," he said, tossing some galleons on the table.

She shook her head. "It's on the house, Mr Potter," she replied, sending a dirty look in Smith's general direction. "It's the least we can do to… apologise for…"

"That's very kind," Harry cut in. "Give yourself a nice tip anyway. And speaking of apologies, I'd like to offer one in advance."

She raised an eyebrow. "For…"

Harry's answering smile could have frozen a basilisk. "For what I'm about to do to your establishment," he replied.

The girl's eyes widened for a second, and then she offered a sly grin of her own. "We'll send you a bill for damages, sir."

_Definitely Slytherin_, Harry thought with mild amusement. "I look forward to it," he smirked, walking away from her. He approached Smith's table with quick strides, pulling a chair back and sitting across from him. The sight of the bastard's wide eyes and rapidly paling countenance sent a vicious thrill through Harry. "Afternoon, Smith," he intoned coldly.

"P-potter? What are you..."

"I just want a quick word. Nothing to worry about." Smith gulped and scrabbled back in his chair, looking decidedly worried. Harry smirked and cracked his knuckles. "Now," he drawled. "What was it you were saying about my kid?" 

* * *

When Draco returned home later that day, it was to the sight of Harry trying to wipe a squirming Scorpius clean with a napkin.

"Hold still, Blondie," he admonished. "This is what you get for swiping Ron's ice cream."

Draco chuckled as he sauntered in. "That's my boy."

Harry grinned and pulled him in for a kiss. "Missed you," he grinned, brushing his lips against Draco's. "How was work?"

"Boring," Draco sighed, leaning into him. "Did you two have a nice day?"

Harry smiled back. "Just lunch in the Alley. Nothing exciting."

"Really?" Draco drawled, his eyes flicking down to Harry's hand. "And…when exactly during this uneventful day did you find the time to bruise your knuckles?" He didn't miss the way Harry flushed slightly and his gaze flickered.

"I got caught in a doorway," he hedged.

"Clumsy," Draco replied, utterly unconvinced. He raised an eyebrow at his son. "Scorpius, would you like to verify that?"

"Bam!" Scorpius replied, demonstrating a rather impressive left hook. Harry cringed. In hindsight, he probably should have been less enthusiastic in his retelling of the Smith Incident.

"Mm," Draco replied noncommittally. "Sounds like you showed that door who's boss, Harry."

Harry mumbled and tugged awkwardly at his collar, looking with avid interest at the toaster. Draco chuckled and sidled over to him, hooking his arms around Harry's shoulders. "Did you forget I was at St. Mungos all day?" he asked with a mischievous grin. "Imagine my surprise when Zacharias Smith hobbled into the Critical Injuries Ward looking like death and mumbling about Potter finally going round the twist_._"

Harry winced. He _had_ forgotten. "Draco, he…"

"Oh hush," Draco whispered, pulling him in for another kiss. His lips slipped over Harry's and his hands wound into his messy hair. Harry sighed and relaxed, letting Draco sooth the tension from his frame. He deepened the kiss by instinct, tracing his hands down Draco's lean, toned body and…

**"Bam!"** Scorpius piped up again, announcing his presence rather effectively.

Draco groaned in frustration, backing away reluctantly. "Smith had it coming, did he?" he asked.

Harry nodded stiffly. "Definitely," he announced, reaching for Scorpius almost instinctively. The child went willingly, hooking his arms around Harry's neck and nuzzling into his shoulder with a contented chuff. Harry bundled him in his arms, gently kissing his forehead.

Draco observed the two of them silently, before yielding with a slow nod. "I'll take your word for it," he said softly. His apprehensions drifted away as he watched Harry handle his son. No, he didn't have to worry. Harry would take care of Scorpius.

And Harry would take care of him too.

After all, they were a family.


	5. Quidditch Quarrels

**Part...5 is it? of the Scorpius arc, following the previous chapters (starting from The French Fry Thief). I'm just churning these out now. Enjoy, lovelies :)**

* * *

The argument had commenced at Scorpius' third birthday party. Everything had been fine at first. The cake and ice cream had been thoroughly demolished by ankle biters of all shapes and sizes, the party games had been chaotic but fun and the adults- even Harry and Lucius- had managed to have a nice, civil afternoon.

And then someone suggested that it was time to open the presents and the world went to hell.

"He's going to be a _Seeker!_" Harry spat, wielding the toy broomstick Ron had given Scorpius aloft like a weapon.

Lucius sneered and his lip curled threateningly. Draco sighed and exchanged a weary look with his mother. Narcissa smiled in commiseration and patted his hand. Their respective spouses had been arguing ever since that dratted broomstick had come into their lives- all of two hours now. The guests had left and the party had long since come to an end, but Harry and Lucius were still having at it like two crups with a bone. The remaining Malfoys- who had yet to descend into a second childhood - watched them with a blend of amusement and annoyance, sipping wine and helping Scorpius sort through the rest of the stash.

"My grandson is going to be a Beater and there are no two ways about it, Potter!" Lucius spat, glaring the younger man down.

"No son of mine is going to be a Beater," Harry argued belligerently.

"_Your_ son?"

"Yes," Harry gritted, leaning in aggressively. "_My_ son!"

Lucius abandoned his scathing response to that at a series of warning looks from his wife and son. Instead he decided to revert to his original point. "_My_ grandson will be a Beater and that is final! It is only fitting that he carries on in my footsteps since Draco didn't."

He paused to shoot his son a scowl and Draco smirked, raising a wine glass in a mock toast.

Harry raised a discriminating eyebrow and grinned. "You were a Beater?" he snickered. "Well, colour _me_ unsurprised."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Lucius demanded.

"Oh nothing," Harry smirked. "You just seem the… _type_ to go around bludgeoning people to death with a clubbed weapon."

"Would you like a demonstration, Potter?"

"Bring it on, _Gampy_."

"No one is bringing anything on," Narcissa broke in firmly, gliding over to the two men and stepping between them, effectively stopping them from coming to blows. "Really, the two of you are impossible. Perhaps we should be celebrating _your_ third birthdays."

"He started it," Lucius muttered.

Harry sneered in response, only adopting a sheepish, apologetic expression when Narcissa gave him a stern look. "If you two are quite finished," she said firmly, her tone leaving no room for doubt that they _were_ in fact finished. "Perhaps we could just let Scorpius open up the rest of his presents?"

"Very well," Lucius muttered.

"Fine," Harry replied, slumping down on the sofa.

Narcissa nodded and returned to her spot on the couch, rolling her eyes at the belligerent grumblings of _'Seeker!'_ and _'Beater!'_ that started as soon as her back was turned. Draco shot her an amused grin as he reached out for Scorpius and pulled him on to his lap.

"Well, my prince. We seem to have reached an impasse. How about you settle this once and for all, hm?"

"Kay, Fadder."

Draco summoned the broom, catching it as it whizzed over to him and handing it to Scorpius. The little blond wrapped small hands around the handle, observing it with a quizzical frown.

"Grip the handle with both your hands, Blondie," Harry advised. "You're going to need to keep your balance when you're _seeking_ for the Snitch," he added, scowling at Lucius.

"On the contrary, grandson," Lucius snapped back. "Try a one hand grip instead. You're going to need the other one to _hold the bat!_"

"Well, son?" Draco prompted. Scorpius blinked at him, taking his time to look around at the assembled grown-ups. He took another look at the broom and Harry and Lucius leaned forward eagerly, awaiting the verdict.

Scorpius chucked the broom away with a disgusted _blech!_ It clattered to the floor and Narcissa had to physically hold back a giggle as the men gaped, mercifully stunned into silence.

"What?!" Harry finally squawked.

"But child…" Lucius began.

The toddler clambered off a snickering Draco's lap and pattered over to his presents again. He pawed around a bit before triumphantly emerging with his selection.

"Duckie!" he announced happily, showing Draco the book on farm animals that Hermione had given him. Draco had to take an entire minute to compose himself before he could nod interestedly at the picture of the duckling Scorpius was so enamoured of. "Very good, son," he offered. "An excellent choice."

"That's my clever boy," Narcissa said warmly, stroking his hair as he padded off to his room- book firmly tucked under his arm. She raised an eyebrow at the dismayed expressions around her. Harry ran a flustered hand through his hair and Lucius scowled at the broomstick as if it had failed him somehow. "Well, I suppose that settles that," she announced primly.

Harry looked over at Draco with a stricken expression. "We're raising a nerd," he announced in a hollow voice.

"Oh, the horror," Draco responded seriously, obviously fighting for a straight face.

Lucius sighed in defeat and shrugged. "Well, at least Slytherin will rack up some points when he aces his OWLs."

Harry bristled and whirled around. "I'm sorry, Lucius," he bit out. "I could have sworn you said Slytherin."

Lucius tensed, scowling challengingly at the younger man. "Your hearing is intact, Potter."

"Scorpius will be in Gryffindor and you know it!"

"No Malfoy will ever set foot in the Gryffindor Tower while I'm still breathing, Potter!"

"Oh, we can take care of _that_ little problem."

"Why you arrogant little…he's going to Slytherin!"

"Gryffindor!"

"Slytherin!"

"Call me crazy," Draco commented dryly. "But considering that he picked a _book_ as his favourite present, isn't it far more likely that he'll be in Ravenclaw?"

Harry and Lucius whirled around to face him, sporting twin looks of shock and horror at the prospect. "No!" they spat in unison.

"Gryffindor!"

"Slytherin!"

Draco shrugged and settled back as they started off again. "Well, at least they agree on something," he said to his mother.

"Indeed darling," Narcissa sighed. "More wine?"


	6. Attack of The Alan

An update to this arc! Thanks for sticking around, lovelies :D

* * *

"If you have any questions at all, just call my cell."

"I'll do that."

"In fact, I'll call you. You know, just to check in."

"I'll keep the floo open."

"And if he misses me or he cries or anything, let me know at once. I'll drop everything and come back. They can have Ron make the stupid speech. I'll..."

"For Merlin's sake, Harry," Draco groaned. "We're going out for _two _hours. I think he'll survive."

Harry scowled disapprovingly at his boyfriend, then turned back to a smiling Luna. "Thank you for babysitting," he said. "We really appreciate it."

"Oh, it's really no problem," Luna replied easily. "He's the sweetest little thing. Aren't you, darling?"

"No," Scorpius replied firmly. For a little boy who was being abandoned for _two whole _hours, he was handling himself remarkably well. Harry stared down at his baby with an agonized expression and knelt beside him, stroking Scorpius' hair and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm just a phone call away, Blondie," he murmured. "If you need me at _all_, just tell Auntie Luna and I'll be here. Just say the word, yeah?"

"Kay, Arry."

Harry whimpered and pulled him on for a quick snuggle, lavishing the tiny blond with kisses. "I'm going to miss you, baby."

Draco rolled his eyes and stepped in, physically prying his boyfriend off his son. He ruffled Scorpius' hair and pressed a quick kiss to his head. "You be good now, okay? We'll be home soon."

"Kay, Fadder."

"That's my boy," Draco smiled. He nodded at Luna. "Thank you again, Luna. You're really helping us out here."

"It's _nothing_, Draco," she insisted. "You go on and enjoy the Ministry Ball. We'll have a great time here."

"We'll do that," Draco agreed. Then he sighed and gestured helplessly at Harry who was still smothering a protesting Scorpius in kisses. "Assuming of course that I can get him there without an emotional meltdown."

It took the combined efforts of Draco, Luna _and _Scorpius (_No_, Arry!) but Harry finally conceded to hand over his precious baby to Luna for the next two hours. She smiled and waved goodbye as Draco finally managed to shove his boyfriend out the door.

"Now then," she said, turning to Scorpius. "What do you want to do?" 

* * *

_And so, the mystery continues. Countless questions, no answers. Where do these mysterious crop circles come from? What is their purpose? A teenager's prank? Or a message from another world? Find out next week in…_

"Well, that was educational," Luna murmured as she switched off the telly. Beside her, Scorpius blinked in surprise as the shiny screen suddenly went blank. He gaped at Luna as if she'd committed the foulest sacrilege.

"No!" the little blond protested, reaching over her for the remote.

Luna laughed and ruffled his hair as he banged it on the sofa arm petulantly, trying to instill a spirit of cooperation within the belligerent device. "But it's over, honey," she placated. "We can watch it next time. Who knows, maybe we'll see the alien visitors."

Scorpius' eyes widened exponentially and he abandoned the remote. "Alans?" he squeaked.

Luna nodded solemnly. "Yes. I do hope they don't destroy our planet. They can be quite tetchy this time of year."

Scorpius gasped in horror and bolted for his room. 

* * *

"That took longer than I thought," Harry muttered as he entered the flat. Luna greeted them with a smile. "Did you two have a nice evening?" she asked.

"Wonderful," Draco smirked, shrugging off his cloak. "You should have heard Harry's speech. Very inspiring."

"Shut it, you," Harry mumbled, giving him a light shove. The whole event had been ridiculously uncomfortable as far as he was concerned. People coming over and shaking hands and asking him to take pictures with them...Harry would much rather be home with his family. Speaking of which…

"How did Scorpius do?" he asked Luna. "He wasn't scared, was he? Did he cry?"

"He was just fine," Luna replied patiently. "We watched a little television and then he went to his room. I tucked him in an hour ago."

"See?" Draco said. "Everything's okay. And to think I spent the whole evening dragging you away from the floo line…"

"One quick check in wouldn't have hurt," Harry grumbled. Still, if everything was fine...he shook his head and smiled at his friend. "Thank you, Luna. Do you need me to see you home or…"

"Not at all," Luna replied, heading for the floo. "The Humdingers will make sure I don't get lost. You boys take care now." One dash of floo powder and she was gone.

Draco grinned in the silence, sensing an opportunity for teasing. He had taken the time to learn Harry's speech word for word, just for this moment.

"And thus we enter a new era," he intoned solemnly, deepening his voice for effect. "Built on the principles of courage, sacrifice and tolerance, we stand together. One people…"

"Quit it," Harry snapped.

"One world. One _family_."

"Draco, I'm warning you..."

"May Merlin watch over you, now and forever!"

"That does it!" Harry growled. He pounced on the laughing blond and tackled him, landing on the couch in a crumpled heap. Draco was still laughing, his eyes glinting with unrestrained mirth. Harry took a moment to appreciate the picture he made, all tousled hair and bright eyes and flushed skin. Even when he was laughing at _his _expense, Draco managed to look drop dead gorgeous. He was still laughing, the great prat. And Harry could think of only one way to shut him up.

Draco's smile dissolved into a moan of appreciation as Harry swooped down and captured his lips. His hands wound their way into Draco's hair, gripping the fine strands as he held him in place. Draco shivered in his arms. This was certainly one of the perks of getting Harry all riled up. Coherent thought left him as he gave himself up to the bruising, passionate kiss. Harry lunged in one more time before breaking away, staring down at him with dark eyes.

"Prat," he scolded. "I know you do it on purpose."

Draco grinned slyly. "Do you plan to punish me?"

Harry arched an eyebrow. "I could be persuaded," he replied, nipping at his boyfriend's lip. Then he eased himself off of Draco with a grin. "But I want to check on Scorpius first. _Then _I'll take care of you."

"Promises promises," Draco grumbled. But he followed Harry to Scorpius' room without protest. He crept in cautiously, heeding the turned out lights and smiled to himself at the sight of Harry stroking his son's hair gently.

"Arry?" Scorpius mumbled sleepily.

"Hey baby," Harry murmured. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. Go to sleep."

"No," Scorpius whimpered, sitting up. Draco frowned as he noticed that his son was sniffling slightly. Concerned, he made his way over and placed a calming, firm hand on Scorpius' back. "What's the matter, my prince?" he asked softly. Scorpius turned to him and clambered into Draco's lap, hiding in his chest. Harry exchanged a concerned look with Draco. "Scorpius?" he prodded gently. "What's the matter, baby? Did you have a bad dream?"

Scorpius shook his head, still snuggling into Draco. Draco wrapped his arms around the child, rocking him gently. "What's the matter then?"  
Scorpius stared up at him with huge, scared eyes. "Alan," he whispered, before burrowing into Draco again. Draco blinked, utterly flummoxed.

"Why is our son afraid of this Alan bloke?" he asked Harry. Scorpius whined at the mention of the dreaded Alan and wrapped himself firmly around his father. "No Alan," he mumbled fretfully. "No no no!"

"Okay, okay," Harry soothed, patting his back. "Don't worry, Blondie. This...Alan isn't here, okay?"

Apparently, Scorpius disagreed. He glowered at the adults who just refused to see reason and pointed at the closet. Draco groaned. "Oh for Merlin's…"

Harry cast a quick Alohomora. "See?" he announced as the closet flew open. "It's empty."

"No."

"I promise there's no one here, Blondie. You believe Harry, don't you?"

_"No."_

"We won't get anything out of him tonight," Draco muttered. He turned back to his son, nudging his forehead with his own. "Would you feel better if you slept in our bed?"

"Kay."

"Well, that's that then," Harry sighed. They exchanged commiserating looks over the tiny blond's head. Their planned night of revelry would have to wait until Scorpius felt better. Draco groaned. Being a parent was _hard, _pun intended.

"Come on then," he sighed. "Let's all go to sleep." 

* * *

The Alan mystery continued for another week, until it was fortuitously solved in the very place it had started.

It was movie night. Draco gasped as the alien predator crept up on the unsuspecting woman hiding behind a tree. He clenched at his cushion and Harry smirked, sensing an opportunity. He swing a courteous arm around Draco's shoulders. "Don't be scared, love. I'll protect you," he crooned. Draco mumbled something about not being scared by a silly movie but he curled into Harry's shoulder quite willingly.

Meanwhile, the predator crept closer. Draco tensed and even Harry held his breath. Then when they were least expecting it, a shrill screech rang out- scaring at least twenty years off their respective lives.

**"ALAN!"**

Draco yelped and Harry squawked, turning about just in time to see Scorpius dive between them. They gaped at the small shivering figure crouched under the couch cushion and understanding dawned.

"Oh. _Alien_." 

* * *

"Scorpius, I promise," Draco repeated for the tenth time. "There's no such thing as aliens."

A blond head poked out of the make-shift cushion fort. Scorpius blinked suspiciously at his father. "No?"

Harry frowned. "Don't tell him that," he admonished. "There could be."

Draco scowled at him. "Maybe," he gritted. "But that's hardly what he needs to hear right now. Especially if you want our bedroom back," he added snidely. Scorpius' nightly expeditions to their bedroom were taking a toll on his sleep _and _his sex life and Draco wasn't particularly enjoying it. His son was a kicker.

Harry shook his head. "I'm not going to lie to him," he declared firmly. He placed a gentle hand on Scorpius' head, petting the small boy and pulling him into his lap. "Thing is, Blondie, we don't really know if aliens exist," he explained. "There could be, or maybe not. What you need to understand is, they're not bad."

"If you haven't seen any, how do _you _know?" Draco grumbled.

"Do you want your bedroom back?" Harry asked archly. Draco subsided and he turned back to Scorpius. "We can't judge them before we meet them," he smiled, shucking the little blond's chin. "Okay?"

"Kay," Scorpius mumbled.

Harry smirked at Draco. "See? Wasn't that much easier than lying to him about…"

The alien predator in the movie chose this exact moment to lunge out from the bushes and clamp one of it's several tentacles around the unsuspecting teenage girl. Shrieks filled the air and Scorpius took one look at the carnage before bursting into tears, burrowing into Harry's shoulder as he howled. Draco gave him a flat look.

"You were saying?"

Harry sighed in defeat as he soothed the sobbing blond. "I'll call Luna in the morning." 

* * *

Luna smiled affectionately at the sulky little boy seated on the couch and settled down beside him. "Now sweetie, your Daddies say you're scared of aliens."

"Alan bad," Scorpius mumbled belligerently. "And _yucky_." Clearly, he was highly displeased by the lack of seriousness this situation was being dealt with. Luna patted his cheek sympathetically. "I know you got scared by the movie. But you know, in real life aliens aren't very different from us. They're just like people. Some are good and some are bad."

"Good?"

"Some of them," Luna agreed. "The point is, you shouldn't be afraid of them. They're probably just as scared of you. Do you understand?"

Scorpius deliberated on that for a few minutes, before deciding that it made sense. "Kay, Luna."

"That's my brave boy," she cooed. "Just remember, all aliens aren't bad. Just like all people aren't bad."

"Kay."

Luna nodded seriously. "Nargles however, are a different story." 

* * *

Later that night, Draco sighed wearily at the blond head settled on his stomach. Scorpius had decided that sleeping vertically was for losers and was now lying on top of them, with his head on Draco and his feet tucked somewhere under Harry's neck. "You're sure you don't want to sleep in your bed?" he asked his son hopefully.

"No," Scorpius replied firmly, grabbing hold of his pyjama bottoms. "Naggles."

Next to him, Harry sighed wearily and flopped down on his pillows. The next second, he grunted in pain as Scorpius' foot got him right in the ribs. Draco gave him a dark look before settling down for another sexless night.

"Next time," he declared firmly. "We're asking Pansy to babysit."


	7. Blonds vs Blond

**Part 7 and it took its own sweet time coming. Written for an LJ prompt. The prompt was 'thwarted'.**

**Summary: Malfoys don't do sharing. End of story.**

* * *

Harry frowned as he went over his shopping list. He nodded and mumbled to himself as he took a can of peas from the shelf before checking it off his list. The supermarket was far too crowded on the weekends, Harry decided. It was so easy to get lost. With that in mind, he put a firm hand on his shopping cart. There was one very small, very blond item in there he just couldn't afford to lose.

"Here you go, Blondie," he said, handing Scorpius the peas. "Say hello to dinner."

Scorpius reached out from the confines of his new chariot slash Harry's shopping cart and accepted the offering, only to make a face when he realized that these certainly weren't the chocolate sprinkles he'd been angling for.

"Blech," he announced sulkily, stashing the can out of sight. Harry laughed and ruffled his hair. "Don't blame me. Your father put it on the list. Speaking of which, we should go find him."

They made their way through the store, looking around for Draco. Harry made a pit-stop at the cereal aisle and Scorpius caused an unnecessary and rather vehement delay at the candy counter. Eventually — a dozen chocolate bars richer — they ended up at the produce section. But there was still no sign of Draco.

"Where is he?" Harry muttered as he piled some oranges into the cart. "He said he'd meet us…"

"Looking for something?"

Harry and Scorpius turned as a blond sauntered over to them. Not the one he was looking for though. Still, Harry smiled as the stranger wheeled his own cart over.

"I couldn't help but notice you seemed a bit lost," he purred, looking Harry over with ill concealed approval. "Couldn't find anything you like?" He came a bit closer, sidling into Harry's space and pushing the cart away a bit. It bumped into Harry's cart. Scorpius made a small noise of affront as he wobbled slightly, then fixed The Intruder with an indignant scowl.

Harry steadied the cart and shook his head. "Oh, I'm fine. Just looking for…"

"I could help you," the blond grinned, letting his shoulder nudge Harry's slightly. "Something from the produce aisle, maybe? Might I suggest cucumbers over melons? A lot more satisfying, if you get my drift."

Harry flushed in uncomfortable embarrassment, wondering how to extricate himself from this situation. "I…"

"Arry!" Scorpius wasn't enjoying being so thoroughly ignored. Harry and the blond man turned to him, immediately catching the full brunt of The Malfoy Glare 2.0.

"Sorry, baby," Harry cooed, ruffling his hair. "Just a minute, okay?"

"No!"

"Hello there," the blond grinned. "I didn't see you." He reached out to pet Scorpius who scowled and batted him away before turning to Harry. "Up," he ordered, holding little arms out in a very clear message. "Up, Arry. Up!"

"Okay okay," Harry soothed, lifting him up. "Sorry," he muttered as Scorpius settled down. "He's not always so tetchy." Scorpius curled into him belligerently, bunching his hands in Harry's shirt and shooting the stranger a territorial glare. The blond chuckled with amusement but his mouth twisted with distaste.

"Possessive little thing, isn't he?" he said, eyeing Scorpius warily.

"You should meet his father," a voice replied dryly.

"Draco!" Harry smiled at his boyfriend as he sauntered over, taking in the scene with amused grey eyes. "Where have you been?" Harry demanded. "We've been looking…"

Draco interrupted him with a smooth kiss, curling an arm around Harry to pull him in. "Around," he said, before turning to the stranger. The blond scowled sourly at the newest interruption. Draco smirked, but his eyes glinted dangerously. "I'll take it from here, thanks. He's got all the help he needs."

"Go 'way," Scorpius added sullenly.

"Scorpius, be nice," Harry said sternly. _You too,_ he mouthed to Draco. His boyfriend raised an eyebrow and made no promises. Instead he put a firm arm on Harry's shoulder. "Nice meeting you," he said to the blond with a rare note of finality in his voice.

Suitably thwarted, the man huffed and gathered up his shopping cart before trudging off. Harry shook his head and turned to the two, entirely unsurprised to see them exchanging smug looks. "Jealous brats," he scolded. "Both of you."

Draco grinned shamelessly. "We have no idea what you're talking about. Do we, Scorpius?"

"No," Scorpius replied firmly.

"Of course." Harry rolled his eyes. He turned his back on them (for all of two seconds) to peruse the vegetable section. They did in fact, need cucumbers. "Now stay out of trouble while I…"

He halted abruptly as an orange sailed through the air and over him, catching the retreating intruder right in the back of his head. The man yelped and rubbed his head, shot Harry and his brood a parting scowl and took off in a hurry. Harry sighed and rubbed his temples as he turned back to the two. "Did you throw that?"

"No," they echoed innocently, staring at him with guileless, wide eyes and twin angelic expressions. Harry wasn't the least bit fooled.

"Right," he muttered, ushering them out before they caused any more trouble. "Let's go home."

And if Draco tipped a dozen cans of chocolate sprinkles into a delighted Scorpius' new candy stash on their way out, he didn't notice.


	8. Scorpius Gets The Flu

**Summary: Scorpius gets sick while Harry is away.**

* * *

It started with a sneeze.

Draco frowned as he passed his son's room on his way to his study. Scorpius was still in bed, burrowed under his covers. That was odd. Scorpius was usually up at the crack of dawn. Draco approached the little mound of blankets and located a small, blond head nestled in the sheets. He smiled and shook his son gently.

"Scorpius, it's time to get up now."

"No." Scorpius' sulky response was punctuated by another sneeze. Draco's concern intensified. He pulled the covers back. Scorpius protested with a sniffle and a scowl, before deciding that Father's would make a fine substitute for the bed. Draco gathered up his baby readily enough, petting Scorpius as he settled in the crook of his shoulder. He noted with a frisson of alarm that Scorpius felt a tad too warm and he was shivering slightly.

"Are you feeling well, my prince?" he asked, making a quick mental note of the symptoms. Shivering, high temperature…

"No," Scorpius muttered in a tone that suggested that this should be obvious.

"What's wrong?" Draco coaxed. "Does your tummy hurt?"

"No."

"Is it your head?"

"No."

"Do you feel tired?"

"No."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Am I going to have to list down every symptom in medical history before I get a _yes _out of you?"

"Kay."

"That's hardly sensible. Do you know how many symptoms there are?"

"Eight."

Despite his worry, Draco couldn't help chuckling at that. He pressed a kiss to his baby's head before tucking him in again. "Let's just call the Healer then, shall we? We'll get you better in no time."

He got up to leave but Scorpius hooked a small hand in his sleeve. "Arry?" he asked hopefully, looking up at Draco with huge, sad eyes.

Draco's heart clenched and he leaned over to kiss him again. "Harry's not here, love. He'll come back soon, I promise. But Father will be right here with you until you get better, okay?"

"Kay, Fadder."

Draco smiled softly before heading to the Floo. Truthfully, he wished Harry was here too.

* * *

Hermione nodded reassuringly at Malfoy's worried visage in her fireplace. As a Healer specializing in Paediatrics, she had done more than her fair share of calming down frazzled parents. Malfoy was doing fairly well, considering the circumstances. He was certainly worried but focused and calm enough to give her the information she needed. Hermione grudgingly admitted — and not for the first time — that the man would have made a good Healer if he hadn't gone into Potions Research.

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much," she said when Malfoy had finished. "It sounds like the flu. I'll be over in a minute with some Pepper Up. Have you informed Harry yet?"

Malfoy nodded. "I sent him an owl an hour ago. But considering he's in France, it will be a while before he gets it."

"The International Auror Conference was this weekend?" Hermione clucked sympathetically. "Poor little Scorpius. He's probably missing Harry."

"He's been asking for him non-stop," Malfoy replied with a sigh. "I've been trying to get him down for a nap for ages."

"Well, don't let him sleep yet. I'll be right over for a diagnosis."

"Thank you, Granger. I'll see you soon."

"Goodbye Malfoy."

Malfoy disappeared with a hiss and a spark. Hermione picked up another pinch of Floo Powder and threw it in the fire. "The Department of Magical Games and Sports, Ministry of Magic."

The flames shifted to form an image of Ron's office. Hermione smiled as her husband worried face appeared in the flames. "Mione? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, Ron," she assured. "I just have to take a rain-check on our lunch date, that's all. Scorpius has the flu, so I'm making a house-call at Malfoy's."

"Blondie's sick?"

Hermione shook her head in exasperation. "Is everyone calling him that now? Really, the poor child has a name."

"Yes, but _Scorpius_ is so…" Ron made a face. "_Blondie_ works better."

Hermione shook her head and summoned her Healers' All Purpose Medical Kit. "Like I said, it's probably just the flu. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay then. I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

Ron watched until Hermione's face disappeared before getting up and brushing soot off his robes. He couldn't help feeling a bit worried for Scorpius. That poor tyke…and with Harry gone for the weekend too.

It was just sad. Just thinking about that poor little boy sick in bed, with only _Malfoy_ for company...Ron shuddered at the thought. Well, that did it. Ron nodded firmly to himself and put away his files. He was no fan of Malfoy, but Scorpius was Harry's kid too.

Ron had to make sure he was okay. Malfoy could just deal with it. Now, where did he put those sugar quills?

"Skiving off for lunch already?" Blaise Zabini scowled as stepped in and noticed Ron's harried packing. "Don't even think about it, Weasley. We have a report due on…"

Ron waved his annoying co-worker off impatiently. "I'll be back later. I've got a situation right now."

Zabini smirked and leaned against the door frame. "What? Granger finally decided she could do better?"

Ron made a mental note to slip some Nosebleed Nougats into his desk drawer later. "Never gets old, that one. And no, everything's fine. I'm just going to check up on Blondie. He's sick."

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Oh for...Scorpius! He's got the flu. Just...I'll be back later, Zabini. Cover for me, okay?"

* * *

Blaise watched Weasley hurtle out of the office, still trying to process his parting words. Scorpius? _Draco's_ Scorpius? Why was _Weasley_ going in to see him? More importantly, how come Weasley had been informed about this dire situation while Blaise had been kept out of the loop? At last check, _he_ was the favourite uncle!

Blaise pursed his lips. Draco Malfoy had some explaining to do.

He tossed his own files and picked up some Floo Powder. Pansy's face emerged in the flames. His girlfriend looked decidedly grumpy.

"Merlin, Blaise! It's eleven in the morning. Why are you calling me at the crack of bloody dawn?"

"We have a situation, Pans."

Pansy stilled and her eyes narrowed. "I'm listening."

* * *

Meanwhile at the flat, Hermione and Draco were busy tending to a sullen, sniffling Scorpius. "Here you go, darling," Hermione said, ladling out some Pepper Up. "You'll feel better in no time."

Scorpius whined and hid in Draco's shoulder. "Arry," he demanded firmly, glowering at the unreasonable grown-ups. Hermione and Draco exchanged sympathetic looks, while Draco patted his little boy gently. "He's away, Scorpius. You know he'd be here if he could."

Scorpius sniffed pitifully and snuggled into Draco's chest. Draco suppressed a sigh. Merlin, this was heart-breaking. "I'm sorry, darling. Just…take your potion, okay?"

"No."

"Scorpius, you…"

"…can't be sick in bed without some reading material, can you?" a voice interrupted. Draco turned around and his eyes widened as Weasley confidently strode into his house, staggering under a mountain of books. Weasley grinned affably at Scorpius and greeted a still stunned Draco with a nod. "Wotcher, Malfoy."

Draco's jaw dropped. "What the…"

"Ron!" Granger sounded rather flabbergasted herself. "What are you doing here? I thought…"

Weasley shrugged. "Well, the little guy was sick and Harry's not here so…" He reached over and patted Scorpius gently. "You feeling alright, Blondie?"

"No."

"That's tough. Do you want a sugar quill?"

"Arry."

Weasley nodded sympathetically. "I know, mate. He'll be back soon, yeah? How about you and Uncle Ron read up on the Adventures of Martin Miggs in the meantime?"

"Kay."

Draco was too stunned to do more than gape as Weasley summoned a chair and settled beside Scorpius. His son leaned over to get a better look at Martin Miggs' shenanigans and the two were soon reading aloud, summarily ignoring the other adults in the room. Draco shook his head bemusedly. "I must be sick too," he mumbled. "I'm obviously hallucinating."

Granger gave her husband a fond smile — which Weasley returned with a grin and a wink — and she patted Draco's shoulder. "He's Harry's little boy too. You'll just have to deal with it."

Draco's response was cut off by the sound of the Floo going off. The next second, the door burst open.

* * *

Blaise barged in, carrying a giant teddy bear. "Did I beat him?" he demanded, looking around wildly. Then he caught sight of Weasley and scowled. "Damn it."

Draco had about two seconds to come to terms with his best friend barrelling into his house unannounced. Moments later, Blaise was unceremoniously shoved aside as Pansy charged in, her heels clacking against the floor as she made a bee line for Scorpius.

"There's my little man," she crooned, elbowing Weasley to one side and gathering Scorpius up. "How's my baby boy? Are you alright, handsome?" She clucked and crooned and fussed over him, much to Scorpius' displeasure. "No, Fansy!" he scolded, trying to squirm out of her grasp. Pansy ignored the protests and proceeded to lavish the tiny blond in kisses, leaving a disgruntled Scorpius covered in lipstick marks.

Draco shook his head in disbelief before voicing a protest. "Will someone tell me what's going on here? How did you…"

Blaise shoved the towering teddy bear at Granger before turning on him. "We'll ask the questions here, Draco," he said firmly. "Here's one. Why were _we_ not informed that Scorpius is ill?"

"Honestly, Draco," Pansy sniffed. "You told Weasley and Granger but not us? How dare you keep me in the dark about something so drastic?"

"Hang on a second. I didn't…"

"And furthermore," Blaise carried on, apparently on a roll. "You told Weasley and Granger but not us!"

"I already said that, darling," Pansy pointed out.

"Whose side are you on?" Blaise demanded. Then he turned back to Draco. "You my friend, better have a damn good excuse for this…this outrage!"

"Look, I…"

"Draco Lucius Malfoy!"

Draco turned and promptly groaned as his mother stormed in.

* * *

Narcissa Malfoy strode into the small room, looking uncharacteristically hassled. Vaguely, Draco surmised that she had come straight from bed, if the fact that she was clad in a silk dressing gown was anything to go by. She took one look at the small army gathered in her grandson's bedroom before lifting her chin and smoothing out the wrinkles in her sleep wear.

"Nana?" Scorpius chirped hopefully, momentarily resurfacing from Pansy's embrace.

Narcissa smiled at him, her eyes shining with affection for the little one. "Nana will be there in just a second, sweetling," she cooed. "I just need to have a word with your father first."

Then she turned on Draco, all affection swept aside as she bore down on her irresponsible offspring like an angry dragon. "I am so disappointed in you, young man! To think that I have to find out from Pansy that my precious grandson is confined to bed!"

Draco gaped at Pansy. "_You_ told her?"

"Well, of course I owled her," Pansy argued. "And a good thing too. _You_ certainly weren't going to."

Draco scowled at her, before turning to placate his furious mother. "It's just a cold," he explained, taking a cautious step back as Narcissa's glare darkened. "I didn't want to worry you about something so trivial so…"

"Trivial?" Narcissa snapped. She continued her rant as she marched over and took Scorpius from Pansy, cradling him protectively. "My grandson's health is _not_ trivial, Draco Lucius Malfoy! Oh, I'll deal with you later. Just wait until your Father gets here. When I told him, he…"

Draco's head was starting to hurt. "What do you mean you told..."

"Where is my grandson?!"

* * *

Lucius Malfoy's dramatic entrance was cut a bit short, considering that he had to elbow Blaise, Ron _and_ Hermione out of his way in order to enter the bedroom.

Nevertheless, he still made quite the statement.

"Is that a golf club?" Draco asked, staring down at the implement his father was wielding. It was official. He was in the Twilight Zone. "How did you…since _when_ do you play Muggle sports?"

Lucius coughed uncomfortably. "I was…its…_I'll_ ask the questions here, young man! Why did you not deign to inform your mother and I that our grandson is ill? If this is your idea of responsible parenting..."

"Gampy!" Scorpius piped up, sensing an opportunity to extricate himself from the unwanted female attention.

Lucius abandoned his tirade at once and hauled up his grandson, checking him over carefully. "Are you quite well, child?"

"No," Scorpius sniffed. He was clearly getting tired of the whole parade. He looked around at the concerned faces crowding him. Apparently, none of them were the one he wanted. Scorpius whined in distress and snuffled into Lucius' robes, looking small and sad and utterly heart wrenching.

Lucius' brow furrowed as he cradled Scorpius to his chest. "Indeed. Tell Grandfather what you need. The sky is the limit. Anything you desire and it's yours, I promise."

And that was the straw that broke the centaur's back.

"Arry!" Scorpius wailed helplessly, sniffling into Lucius' expensive robes. "Arry! Arry! **Arry!"**

"Now you've done it," Ron grumbled.

Lucius shot him a withering look before turning to Draco. "Well, where is the fool?" he snapped as Scorpius sobbed in his arms. "Get a hold of him, wherever he is. And do it quick, for Merlin's sake! The child is distraught!"

"We really should call Harry," Hermione put in. "He's very upset, the poor thing."

"What on earth are you waiting for, Draco?" Pansy demanded. "Get on the Floo and call Potter."

Draco threw his arms up in defeat. "I did! I sent him an owl, left a message by Floo and everything else I could think of, alright? _No one_ wishes he was here more than I do. But he's not. So please, all of you…try not to make this worse for Scorpius by…"

Not for the first time that day, he was interrupted. The Floo went off with a sharp hiss. Draco held his head in his hands. For Merlin's sake, what now?

"Mr Potter, please!" a heavily accented voice implored. "You're due to make a speech in five minutes! You can't leave now! _Je suis desole _but you simply must…"  
"You're going to be really _desole_ if you don't let go of me!" an unmistakable voice barked back. "My son is sick, for Merlin's sake! **Let** **go!"**

Some scuffling and a yelp later, Harry was barging through the door and elbowing through the crowd.

* * *

His robes were crumpled, his spectacles were crooked and he only had one shoe. Clearly, he had dressed in a hurry. His frantic eyes roved the room and landed on Draco. "I got your owl," Harry blurted. "I came here as fast as I could. Where is he? Where's my…"

**"Arry!"**

Harry turned around, and just in time. Scorpius practically launched himself out of Lucius' arms and plastered himself to Harry. Harry's arms were around him in a millisecond. He wasted no time in gathering Scorpius up, shushing him and petting him and lavishing him in kisses. "I'm here, Blondie," he murmured fervently. "Harry's here. I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you again, I promise. My sweet, sweet boy. My precious angel…"

His endearments trailed off as Scorpius nuzzled into him, looping his arms around Harry with a contented sigh and settling into his shoulder. Harry kissed him tenderly, shifting him in his arms as he finally deigned to take a look at the room. He stopped short as he registered the sheer number of people in attendance.

Harry gaped incredulously as he turned to his boyfriend. "Were you _seriously_ having a party while our son was sick?" he demanded accusingly.

Draco gave up and slumped in a chair, holding his head in his hands. He only emerged when Granger patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Well, at least you know he's well loved," she said, apparently fighting for a straight face.

Draco blinked tiredly at her. "You know, Granger. I don't feel so good."

Granger grinned and offered him a vial. "Pepper Up?"


End file.
